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What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.

In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn’t have to ride around with jerks.

Apparently, the most difficult feat for a Cambridge male is to accept a woman not merely as feeling, not merely as thinking, but as managing a complex, vital interweaving of both.

Very learned women are to be found, in the same manner as female warriors; but they are seldom or ever inventors.

If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish.

It is fatal to be a man or woman pure and simple: one must be a woman manly, or a man womanly.

A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction.

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.

If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.

There is another side to chivalry. If it dispenses leniency, it may with equal justification invoke control.