Quote Tag

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.

We do hereby command the Leaders of the Hebrew, Catholic and Protestant Churches to sanctify and have us crowned Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico.

I sometimes joke, Paula, even paranoid people have enemies.

Words are cheap. The biggest thing you can say is ‘elephant’.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.

I can live for two months on a good compliment.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

I’m like the kid in kindergarten; I really do send valentines to everyone.

Someone called all the newspapers in New York and told them I’d died. I’ve been told by almost everyone it was an ex-wife – I’ve had a few so it’s hard to pinpoint which one – but who knows for sure?

There are two things that are more difficult than making an after-dinner speech: climbing a wall which is leaning toward you and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.