Quote Tag

He would make a lovely corpse.

If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish.

I like a drink, mate. I’ll have maybe 10 or 12 pints on a good night out.

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

I like a man who grins when he fights.

The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded.

The problem with winter sports is that – follow me closely here – they generally take place in winter.

Sometimes, I feel discriminated against, but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It’s beyond me.

You never heard of a comedy team that didn’t fight, did you?

We want to get people laughing; we don’t want to offend anybody.