Author Profession

In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn’t have to ride around with jerks.

Profession : Cartoonist

One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.

Profession : Cartoonist

Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.

Profession : Cartoonist

Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.

Profession : Cartoonist

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.

Profession : Cartoonist

I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.

Profession : Cartoonist

Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.

Profession : Cartoonist

Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.

Profession : Cartoonist

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Profession : Cartoonist

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Profession : Cartoonist