Author Profession

Wrong is for other people.

Profession : Comedian

No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi.

Profession : Comedian

Personal beauty is a greater recommendation than any letter of reference.

Profession : Comedian

I only direct in self-defense.

Profession : Comedian

We’ve all got to look at ourselves, start with yourself, that’s all you can do. I believe that we can act responsibly as a group, it’s just that there are vested interests telling us not to bother.

Profession : Comedian

My longing to improve my looks via The Body Shop is being replaced by my longing to improve my looks via Photoshop.

Profession : Comedian

Being a funny person does an awful lot of things to you. You feel that you mustn’t get serious with people. They don’t expect it from you, and they don’t want to see it. You’re not entitled to be serious, you’re a clown.

Profession : Comedian

Yes, OK, farty is a silly word. I wish I’d never used it. I’m 34. Perhaps it was a word for my 20s.

Profession : Comedian

A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.

Profession : Comedian

People who get through life dependent on other people’s possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.

Profession : Comedian