Author Profession

Is being an idiot like being high all the time?

Profession : Comedian

The reason I talk to myself is that I’m the only one whose answers I accept.

Profession : Comedian

Always look on the bright side of life.

Profession : Comedian

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.

Profession : Comedian

I’m not addicted to cocaine. I just like the way it smells.

Profession : Comedian

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.

Profession : Comedian

The term ‘celebrity’ makes my skin crawl.

Profession : Comedian

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven’t tried that for a while. Maybe this time it’ll work.

Profession : Comedian

The purpose of life is not to be happy, but to be useful.

Profession : Comedian

You don’t have to be a genius to be a good person, but it helps.

Profession : Comedian