Author Name

If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.

Author : Dave Barry

The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.

Author : Dave Barry

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

Author : Dave Barry

‘Escargot’ is French for ‘fat crawling bag of phlegm’.

Author : Dave Barry

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.

Author : Dave Barry

It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money.

Author : Dave Barry

There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary.

Author : Dave Barry

The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.

Author : Dave Barry

The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.

Author : Dave Barry

The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.

Author : Dave Barry