Parentage is a very important profession, but no test of fitness for it is ever imposed in the interest of the children.

A gentleman is one who puts more into the world than he takes out.

Censorship ends in logical completeness when nobody is allowed to read any books except the books that nobody reads.

Life levels all men. Death reveals the eminent.

I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me.

Martyrdom: The only way a man can become famous without ability.

I’m an atheist and I thank God for it.

A man of great common sense and good taste – meaning thereby a man without originality or moral courage.

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn’t!

I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.