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Is being an idiot like being high all the time?

The term ‘celebrity’ makes my skin crawl.

I actually was class clown, but I don’t know how that happened because I’ve never been considered an outwardly funny person-as the people in this room will attest.

I say at this point, for different reasons, Bush and Hussein are both very threatening to world peace and to deny that is to be incredibly naive.

I absolutely realize that a celebrity spokesperson is not ideal.

I would have to say loneliness is next to uncleanliness.

I can do most anything and not have a problem with it. The only time I have negative attention is when I run naked through the streets brandishing a handgun.

To me, there is no greater act of courage than being the one who kisses first.

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.

When I see the American flag, I go, ‘Oh my God, you’re insulting me.’